What I miss…
Sometimes when I am bored I go for a walk, put my earphones on and play nothing just so that people don’t think I am just walking on the road aimlessly. I wouldn’t have cared for what others thought, but in this densely populated city whenever you go out there are hundreds of eyes around you, and you can’t help but feel noticed by at least one of them. I don’t know why I am afraid of a stranger’s judgment, maybe because that is exactly why I go out for a walk. To observe others passing by people just going on with their lives. When you don’t know the context of someone’s action and observe them as you pass by and muse yourself by putting them in an imaginary situation and figuring out what made them act like that, it gets very entertaining. But this is short, ephemeral just like any random thought you get and you forget, but sweet and mostly funny.
But now when I go out, whenever I cant keep myself confined with my own thoughts, I don't see different people with different actions or stories; it seems everyone is living the same life. Everyone is just exhausted with this pandemic, you can't see their face but their eyes tell you the same thing. When will all this be over, and when I try to imagine anything, like everyone else I cant seem to think beyond our pandemic-struck life.
I miss going out and ruminating the foolish idiosyncrasies of these strangers.
I am an extrovert person; although one time I was disillusioned enough to think I am an introverted person, maybe because all my close friends were introverts. I tried to behave and live like an introverted person for a while and this experiment turned out to be so foolish in the end.
But that's the thing about the company. When you have lots of people around you, you are surrounded by the living embodiment of so many crazy adventures, ideas, and opportunities that are not innately yours. So this helps us get awesome new experiences which otherwise would not happen usually in one’s own company. Although too many distractions can keep us disenchanted from our own self, that is a conversation for Plato.
I miss being around people and the random occurrences that come with them.
The universe around us was well developed and perfect way before our conscious realm of human minds came into existence. And since the very first moment, humans have utilized nature to bring peace or fulfillment to the infinite hunger for nirvana.
Accordingly, like many others I have loved the outdoors - need some time to ponder about life I set out for a time in the forest, want some adventure I am climbing the mountains, need to spend some time for inspiration or love I find myself on the beaches watching the relentless waves keep inching towards me and so much more wonderful beautiful moments. But now it's just these 4 man-made walls around me that give me shelter, protection, and space which after a while becomes part of our whole reality and it does create a sense of emptiness that nothing man-made can fulfill.
I miss the mystical comfort I found in the arms of mother nature.
We all miss a lot of things, I hope you get what you are missing once this is all over.
